Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Notes for my baby, part 1

In which Thu describes some of her hopes and dreams for her baby.

I'd planned to handwrite this, but I really just haven't had the inclination. Maybe I really am a 21st century blogger after all.

I found out I was pregnant on Saturday, the 10th. Since then, I've been through so much that it has become important for me to say it, SOMEWHERE, or else I'll burst. Or fester.

The most important part is that I'm happy, and excited. It's not what I planned to happen right now in my life, but I love that I'm going to be a mother and that I'm going to teach my son or daughter about the world.

I have so many hopes and dreams for this child, and none of them are things like, "I hope she becomes a doctor" or "I hope he wins the Cy Young someday." I hope my child is smart - I don't mean smart as in, Asian smart and gets straight A's (although, that would be nice), but smart is in, able to think for him/herself and come to his/her own conclusions and to always question information and not just accept what is given to him/her. I would rather have a child who gets B's and C's but who chooses to follow current events, than a child who gets straight A's and only cares about celebrities and gossip. I hope my child inherits mine and Jimmy's appreciation for music and film, but also inherits our irreverent way of looking at things and sense of humor. I hope my child is compassionate and caring to others and doesn't hate other people because of how they look or who they are. I hope my child eventually finds something he/she is passionate about, a path in life, and not just a job to earn lots of money.

Is that a tall order for a child? I sure hope not. I am not going to make assumptions about what my child will want to do, or how academic they will be, or who they will love. Being a teacher has taught me a lot about being compassionate and about not being judgmental, and that's what I hope to bring to my role as a parent - I hope that never goes away, because I feel like that's the best part of me. I want my child to feel comfortable to talk to me about anything without worrying that I will judge them, and I say this because I never felt that comfortable about talking to my own parents, because I constantly feel like they will judge me. (And yes, they did, when I told them I was pregnant.) I never want my children to be afraid of me. To respect me and recognize my authority, yes. To fear me, absolutely not. In return, I hope that my child is also not judgmental of others and can be a voice of strength for the people that they love, in the future.

I'm excited. I'm happy. There is one thing I'm not happy about, but it's out of my hands. For now, I'm grateful for everyone who has expressed their support to me so far.

3 comments:

  1. wow, other than being a teacher, i could write this same exact letter to my daughter. my experience and opinions are very similar to yours.

    ReplyDelete

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