Friday, September 11, 2009

Getting back to me


(This could be me. Why not?)

I'm coming up on the six-week mark for post-partum recovery, and I'm realizing that I need to get my act together. These past couple of months (starting when Jimmy and I moved into our own place, about a month before I delivered), all I've been doing is lounging around the house and being lazy and not even getting dressed properly. Which is well within my rights, as a heavily pregnant woman and as a new mother.

But the babymoon is over - I need to be a functional, presentable member of society again. And now that I (mostly) have my body back, it's time for me to put myself back together - open the trunk and find those parts of me that I used to be before I was pregnant, that I can still be again.

I was never glamorous, but I was way into makeup (well, that didn't change with pregnancy), and was constantly trying to find a signature look. I fancied myself a low-key pinup girl, and had the pencil skirt to prove it (which has long since been donated due to my watermelon-sized tummy). I loved this about myself - I had found an aesthetic that I felt comfortable with, and I felt good about myself when I dressed that way, and now that I'm more or less back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size, I need to get back to that. I miss it. I miss feeling great and looking great.


(See? Pencil skirt! Me as a pinup, pre-pregnancy. Well, I might've been pregnant in this picture actually - like, a week or so. I definitely had no idea here.)

I've started buying makeup again, and I'm going to get back into wearing it more often, even if I don't go anywhere, because it's just nice to look into a mirror and love what you see. Is it vanity? Perhaps. Sure, there are more important things I could be worrying about. But it makes me feel good about myself, and you can't discount that.

While I was pregnant, I realized more than ever that I really missed RUNNING. I've been itching to run, and now, I finally can. (Well, I can start taking steps toward TRYING to run.) I'm missing the Nike Women's Marathon this year, and it kills me. I miss feeling strong and athletic. The physical part of pregnancy and birth has been the hardest for me to deal with - not even being able to lift boxes has made me feel so helpless and anti-feminist, even. I've always been a strong, able-bodied person, and having to "sit out" everything for the last nine months has been torture.

So, I need to get back into shape. Or rather, I'm back into the shape I was before; I'd like to get into better shape. I want to be strong and able to run around with Jolie when she's old enough. I want to have energy and confidence - Jolie does NOT need a mother with self-esteem issues.

No more sitting around wishing anymore. There's no reason why Jolie's mom can't be a glamorous badass.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Jolie is one month old today!

One month and going strong. And getting better every day. And to think, we STILL haven't reached my due date yet! And look at my wonderful baby!







Here's to the next month!