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Getting back to me

(This could be me. Why not?)

I'm coming up on the six-week mark for post-partum recovery, and I'm realizing that I need to get my act together. These past couple of months (starting when Jimmy and I moved into our own place, about a month before I delivered), all I've been doing is lounging around the house and being lazy and not even getting dressed properly. Which is well within my rights, as a heavily pregnant woman and as a new mother.

But the babymoon is over - I need to be a functional, presentable member of society again. And now that I (mostly) have my body back, it's time for me to put myself back together - open the trunk and find those parts of me that I used to be before I was pregnant, that I can still be again.

I was never glamorous, but I was way into makeup (well, that didn't change with pregnancy), and was constantly trying to find a signature look. I fancied myself a low-key pinup girl, and had the pencil skirt to prove it (which has long since been donated due to my watermelon-sized tummy). I loved this about myself - I had found an aesthetic that I felt comfortable with, and I felt good about myself when I dressed that way, and now that I'm more or less back to my pre-pregnancy weight and size, I need to get back to that. I miss it. I miss feeling great and looking great.

(See? Pencil skirt! Me as a pinup, pre-pregnancy. Well, I might've been pregnant in this picture actually - like, a week or so. I definitely had no idea here.)

I've started buying makeup again, and I'm going to get back into wearing it more often, even if I don't go anywhere, because it's just nice to look into a mirror and love what you see. Is it vanity? Perhaps. Sure, there are more important things I could be worrying about. But it makes me feel good about myself, and you can't discount that.

While I was pregnant, I realized more than ever that I really missed RUNNING. I've been itching to run, and now, I finally can. (Well, I can start taking steps toward TRYING to run.) I'm missing the Nike Women's Marathon this year, and it kills me. I miss feeling strong and athletic. The physical part of pregnancy and birth has been the hardest for me to deal with - not even being able to lift boxes has made me feel so helpless and anti-feminist, even. I've always been a strong, able-bodied person, and having to "sit out" everything for the last nine months has been torture.

So, I need to get back into shape. Or rather, I'm back into the shape I was before; I'd like to get into better shape. I want to be strong and able to run around with Jolie when she's old enough. I want to have energy and confidence - Jolie does NOT need a mother with self-esteem issues.

No more sitting around wishing anymore. There's no reason why Jolie's mom can't be a glamorous badass.