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Down the rabbit hole...

I used to have this recurring dream when I was younger* - I haven't had it in a while, but I dreamt it last night, and I wonder what it signifies.

Whatever the context, I'm holding a small, flat panel - it looks like a switch plate, but instead of openings for a light switch, it has two small metal doors that I have to hold open or else it shuts. When you open the doors, you don't see through to the other side of the panel, you see darkness and space - stars. It's some kind of portal to an alternate reality, and as you bring your face closer to see inside, the gravity sucks you in, and all of a sudden, the portal becomes bigger, and you find yourself being pulled through, head first.

And what I always remember vividly is that moment when you realize that your head is through, and all around your face are stars, and really faint music... the closest thing I can compare it to is the organ music from the upbeat part of the Doors' "Light my Fire" - kind of whimsical but also haunting.

Anyway, in my previous dreams, I've always gone through. I don't remember what happened after I went through, but I remember that I always did. But last night, what I dreamt was, I was showing the portal to someone, and THEY went through, and then I tried to, but only got my head through, and then I had to come back out, because it wasn't letting me. I got as far as hearing the music, but then it stopped pulling me, and I had to pull my head back out. It would not accept me.

* On second thought, what if it was my subconscious planting the idea in my head that I had dreamt this before, when really I hadn't? Like, it was a "given" in the reality of my dream that this was a familiar thing. Man, this is weird and trippy.