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Decisions, decisions

So, I've been skating with the Mizfitz in Morgan Hill for about a month now, and I'm really enjoying it. I love that this league is right at the beginning of everything, and if I stick around, I'll be able to be a part of this journey.

But SVRG's next bootcamp is looming, and I'm afraid I'll be faced with a major decision - WHICH LEAGUE?

On the one hand, all I've ever wanted was to join SVRG. I adore the women in the league, they're officially WFTDA now, they've got everything in place. If I make it through this next bootcamp and tryouts, my dream could come true.

On the other hand, SVRG is HUGE and I will be bottom of the totem pole, ability-wise. I will be a small fish in a big pond, and it could be years, potentially, before I actually get to skate in a bout. Realistically, I could be a benchwarmer for quite some time. Or, I wouldn't even get to warm the bench - I'll be a bout volunteer.

With the Mizfitz, it will also be a long time before I get to skate in a bout, but for a completely different reason - we're new and small! And I will have more of an opportunity to make an impact, because we are so new and small. If I can be patient, the good things will come. Plus, I will have more time to work on my skills, instead of over-pressuring myself and psyching myself out - those nights of WFTDA testing were some of the worst sleepless nights in recent memory.

I don't know what to do. I'm actually leaning towards NOT doing the bootcamp and sticking with the Mizfitz 100%, but it seems a little surreal to me that I'm actually going to let this pass me by?

But what else could I do? What if I DO pass and nab a spot with SVRG? Am I just going to abandon the Mizfitz? When I decided to start skating with them, I didn't do so because I needed a "space filler" - I've been fully expecting to commit to them, for a long time. (I was not anticipating that there would actually BE another bootcamp, actually.) I really like those ladies a lot - they've got a lot of fire and a lot of heart, and I enjoy skating with them, and we're all learning together and progressing together. Honestly, the only "strike" against them is that it's a long drive for me, but it's manageable - I've been doing it for about a month.

Honestly... they are two entirely different leagues in two entirely different stages of their existence. It's choosing between the apple and the orange, so to speak. And I think it will break my heart a little bit, either way. But I have to think: what are MY goals? What do _I_ want to get out of joining a derby league? And the truth is, I want to compete. I want to bout. And which league will I have a better chance of doing that sooner with?