Thursday, July 1, 2010

My thoughts on Eclipse

The third installment of the series, and the one that I personally acknowledge as "the end" because Breaking Dawn is so freakin' ridiculous that I can only make peace with it by treating like some super entertaining fan fiction. (Oh god, I can't WAIT to see what they do for THAT adaptation!)

That said... Eclipse felt fast to me, and I realized it was because we were totally being spared the extra two hundred pages of Bella's self-pity, whining, and constant exultations of Edward's beauty and perfection. THANK YOU GOD. No wonder the book felt so long! The movie has Bella's voiceover from time to time, but it's far from a total narration, and therefore, we don't have to get to hear every single thing she's thinking.

What this also does is shine a harsh light on this whole love triangle business. People who love the book get caught up in the whole "Whom should she choose? Whom should she choose?" aspect (again, because we're hearing her agonize over it), but watching it on-screen, objectively, totally made me angry at HER. Woman, I am not sympathizing with you IN THE SLIGHTEST. She even made me feel bad for Edward! And that's plenty hard to do considering how freaking creepy and uncomfortable that scene was where he's MESSED UP HER TRUCK so she can't go see Jacob. Um, scary and controlling much? Anyway, Bella even made me feel bad for Edward. She hops on Jacob's bike right in front of his face and takes off, and of course, there's the infamous "JACOB I WANT YOU TO KISS MEEEEEEEE!" part of the story. (But thank god they left out the whole Bella-crying-about-how-selfish-she-is scene from the book.) Bella, I'm going to reach through that screen to smack some sense into you, okay? But OF COURSE, she can't seem to leave Jacob alone.

And obviously, this is because Jacob will someday imprint on her half-human, half-vampire growth-accelerated hybrid mutant baby. *gigglesnort* I had a hard time choking back my laughter during the scene where Jacob tells her about imprinting. Bella: "Have you ever imprinted on anyone?" Jacob: "No... because I'm waiting for you to get pregnant and have your child ripped out of your uterus by Edward's teeth first." Me: *laughing my ass off!* How the hell are they going to handle THAT one in the Breaking Dawn movies? They didn't even tell us about Quil and Emily's two-year-old cousin yet!!!

There were some oddly touching moments though - I definitely teared up at the scene between Bella and her mother, and at graduation when Charlie stands up to clap for Bella when she receives her diploma. Aww. *sad*

Speaking of graduation - Jessica is valedictorian? Is this movie suffering from Saved by the Bell syndrome or something? - Did you ever notice how on SBTB, the main kids are always involved in EVERYTHING? Because of course, anything that happens can only be validated by the involvement of a main cast member. Therefore, someone important HAD to be valedictorian instead of just letting it be unmentioned. Or is it because they wanted to make good use of ACADEMY AND GOLDEN GLOBE AWARD NOMINEE Anna Kendrick? Show us your skillz, yo!

I was pleasantly surprised by the backstories of Rosalie and Jasper. I'm glad they included them, and in so much detail. And I love that the tail end of Jasper's story where he talks about meeting Alice was left (pretty much) intact. Jasper and Alice = way cute. The Southern accent! "Well, I'm sorry, ma'am!" (Can you tell I've been watching True Blood lately? I LOVE vampires having Southern accents. I TOTALLY want to hear Jasper say "Sookeh!") I had more "Awwww!" with the two of them than I did with all of Bella and Edward and Jacob through all three movies.

Though, the proposal scene in the bedroom? Totally made my heart skip a little. And I'm glad they decided just to have Bella say yes, straightforward, instead of having her hemming and hawing a little bit more like in the book.

By the way, I could not stop laughing at Jasper's hair in every scene he was in. Granted, this is the best his hair has ever looked in all three movies. (Too bad I can't say the same about Esme.) But still... pretty darn comical. Chuckles abound!

The story of the Third Wife in the book was horrendously boring to me, to the point that I skipped all five gazillion pages of it, and then was confused when it was referred to later on. (Stephenie Meyer has a bad habit of droning on for pages and pages about things, and her editor has a bad habit of not editing her.) I went back and skimmed, and until this morning, I still really didn't have any idea what happened. In the movie, it was perfect. Thanks, Rosenberg! *thumbs up!* You just saved me a lot of time. That said, it is never referred to ever again in the movie. Now, I'M smart enough to get the reference, but maybe some other people aren't (and that's why it WAS mentioned again the book - Bella has dreams where she murmurs something about "the Third Wife" in her sleep).

New faces in the movie:
  • I don't understand why they felt the need to cast Bryce Dallas Howard to replace Rachelle Lefebvre (however it's spelled). And in addition to that, since they apparently DID feel the need to cast Bryce Dallas Howard, I don't understand why they couldn't just let her use her naturally VERY RED hair. Instead, they gave her this GOD AWFUL curly-ass wig and she looked terrible. She's so gorgeous normally!
  • The guy that plays Riley is awfully cute. Team Riley! Oh wait... he's dead.
  • Can I say, I was SO EXCITED about Jodelle Ferland as Bree Tanner, even though we really only see her for 15 minutes, max. I had heard before that she was going to be in Eclipse, and I completely forgot about it until I saw her on screen. She is a fantastic actress, and casting her in such a small role is such a waste, but I'm glad she was there. It was all I could do not to yell "JELIZA ROSE!" at the screen. (See: Terry Gilliam's Tideland, in which she was magnificent. Jodelle Ferland has more talent than the entire rest of the Twilight cast - minus Dakota Fanning - combined.)
  • Leah Clearwater - exactly as bitchy as I pictured her. Perfect. 
  • Seth Clearwater - OMG SO CUTE. In a little brother way. He was EXACTLY the cute little puppydog (*snort*) kid that I pictured when reading the book - so eager to join the wolf pack and get involved. Awww. I want to pat his head and then feed him some cookies. 
I'm also happy they left in the conversation between Edward and Jacob in the tent. That was a great moment in the book. Plus: "Besides, I'm way hotter than you." *snort* Honey, there are lots of grown women out there who totally agree. (Was I the only one who was like, "HEY, JACOB IS NAKED!!!" after he got injured fighting the last vampire? No? Okay, just me then.)

My main complaint is the tiny plot point about how the Volturi showed up WAY earlier, and Jane just let things happen. Why was that even necessary? It didn't add anything to the story, and it doesn't explain anything. Was it just to give Dakota Fanning more screen time? Make her more evil? It's just not necessary. But it was minor anyway, and it didn't change the overall story. I just think it wasn't needed.

One thing I wish they HAD included was that moment in the clearing when Jasper's teaching everyone how to fight... Wolfy Jacob leans over and licks Bella's face. That would've been hilarious.

Overall, it's a nice way TO WRAP UP THE SERIES, but too bad they're not going to stop here. Oi.

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