Saturday, July 3, 2010

Unsent

Dear ______:
I don't know how you feel about me, but I'm not mad at you, and I don't hate you. I never was, and never did. I stopped talking to you a while ago just because I didn't want to embarrass you in front of your friends. And now I'm not talking to you just because I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me. But I want you to know that if you ever want to talk to me, I wouldn't turn my back on you. Sometimes I see how unhappy you are, and I wish I could be there for you, but again, I'm afraid you won't want me anywhere near you, so I say nothing. But I want you to know that I still care about you, and I hope that this silence isn't forever. I know we'll never be best friends, but... it would be nice to be on speaking terms again.

Dear _____:
You, on the other hand, I AM mad at. Because apparently you won't talk to me unless you absolutely have to, and it really hurts me. You once called me one of your best friends, and now you won't even look at me. Why? What made you suddenly decide that I was no longer worthy of your attention? You're just done with me, is that it? You no longer have any use for me, so I get dumped by the side of the road? I'm a human being, goddammit. I have feelings. And I thought you did too. You have no idea how much it hurts that you just decided to cut me off, socially, and that you'll ONLY talk to me when it's strictly business. Well, fine. I will give you your space, and I will try not to let it show how much it hurts me, and I hope one day you will realize that you are missing out by not having me in your life. But just know that you owe me a major, serious apology: after the horrible exchange of words we had last year, I let you back into my life without one, and I'm really regretting it now, because ever since then, all you've done is to continue to hurt my feelings. I really am starting to think that I am better off without you. Look! you can even tell that I am the most upset over you, because you got the longest letter. Make it right.

Dear _____:
I miss you. Things haven't been the same lately. We just don't really talk anymore. We don't really see each other anymore. I know you've got a lot to tend to, but... I would totally push aside anything to make time for you. But I know I have no right to ask you to do the same. This makes me really sad, because sometimes I really need you.

Dear _____:
Keep trying. It will happen. I do truly believe that the universe will reward good people, and you are two of the best people I know. And please know that the bad things that have happened were not your fault. Just don't give up. I love you guys.

Dear _____:
I don't know what happened to you, but I think you need professional help. Or a smack across the face. Something to make you come to your senses and realize that you are way too good to be with him, and that he is not worth settling for. You're so insecure and afraid, and you shouldn't be, because you are beautiful and smart - you've just lost your way. And it's making you crazy. I mean it - literally batsh** crazy. I know I'm not perfect either, but... let me help you. Please.

Dear _____:
I'm sorry that I used to hate you when we were both teenagers. In all honesty, I was jealous of you - I've always been big and awkward, and you were a cute little thing that everyone just flocked to. But now that I'm older and wiser and can recognize my own shortcomings and faulty logic, I'm realizing that you really are a cool person, and I'm glad that we are kinda friends now.

Dear _____:
Could you please just, like... stop being so self-absorbed and be there for someone else, for once in your life? He was there for you SO many times. He's had to listen to you blather on about things that he doesn't really care about SO many times. Could you maybe return the favor? Could you maybe do something nice so that he knows you care about him? Seriously. Other than me, you're the only one he's close to. He needs you. And you know what? You need him too.

Dear _____:
I'm proud of you. You did pretty well for yourself. There's just one thing left, and I know you'll take care of it. So, I'm proud of you.

Dear _____:
You are one cool kid, and I think that if you were my age, we would be good friends. Stay cool.

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