Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Would you erase me?

My favorite movie ever is the Charlie Kaufman-penned Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, where Joel (played by Jim Carrey) attempts to have his girlfriend erased from his memories, but then realizes halfway through that he doesn't want to forget her. This film appeals to me on a lot of different levels, and the main question that it posits is one that I ask myself frequently - Is it better to live with the memory of someone I love, no matter how painful, or would I be better off living as if the other person had never existed in my life?

In general I lean towards the former, but that doesn't mean that I don't occasionally consider the latter. There are certain people in my life, the very thoughts of whom trigger extremely strong emotions in me, sometimes to the point of being unbearable, and I'm left wondering whether or not it would be such a bad idea to erase them completely from my life.

I'm a very emotional person. You wouldn't think it to look at me, because mostly I'm just quiet and serious and I don't talk much, but truly, my emotions run deep and it's very easy to make me happy or sad or angry. And I may not be good at remembering facts and information, but I remember exchanges that I have with people who are important to me.

Lately I've been thinking about one person in particular, whom I used to be really close to. We had a falling out, and while we're speaking to each other again (even in a friendly way!), our friendship just isn't really the same anymore. With me being the sort of person who remembers conversations and saves emails and spends a lot of time overanalyzing everything, I've been thinking to myself a LOT lately, "What the hell happened?" What went wrong? Were we ever really that close, that connected, or did I just imagine the whole thing? Am I just totally crazy?

And all I have to go on are my own memories, wrapped up in my emotions, and it makes me question my side of things and my interpretation of my exchanges with this person. Objectivity is out of the question, because I am too emotional when it comes to this person - ever since our falling out, either I completely hate his guts or I completely think that he's the greatest ever; there is no lukewarm middle ground. There was a time when I pretty much thought this person hung the moon, and I still feel this way, except that I now vacillate between feeling that, and feeling a bitter, betrayed sort of rage, and totally resenting the fact that it doesn't take much for this person to send my emotions flying in one direction or the other. I know I shouldn't allow myself to be so affected by just one person, but I can't help it. (And I also feel like there's no way that this person could possibly be as affected by ME, so then I resent the fact that he gets to walk away from this unscathed and perfectly fine, while I'm still painfully grappling with my own feelings well after the fact.)

So I really question what I remember about our friendship, because what if I was just totally and completely in all ways utterly wrong? And it's not like I can just, you know, ask. "Hey, did you actually care about me, or was I just a delusional idiot?"

So there are times when it hurts a little too much to think of this person, and I wonder if I'd be better off if I could just completely erase this person from my life, so that it doesn't hurt anymore. But I know I would never do it. As much as thinking about this person sometimes makes me sad, the thought of never thinking about this person again actually makes me sadder.

Soft olive

Look, Ma! No UDPP!
- BeneFit Creaseless Cream shadow/liner in Skinny Jeans all over the lid
- BeneFit Creaseless cream shadow/liner in Birthday Suit as a highlight and to blend the line
- UD eye pencil in Stash along upper and lower lash line
- UD Supercurl Mascara

(Yes, it's my favorite sweater.)

- UD Lip Junkie lip gloss in Naked

- BeneFit Some Kind-a Gorgeous in medium
- MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Medium Plus
- NARS blush in Orgasm
- Milani Baked Bronzer in Soleil

Monday, May 30, 2011

Electric Storm

FINALLY feeling better, after a whole week of total misery. (Didn't stop me from wearing makeup, though I definitely wasn't up for photographing myself.) I was dreadfully sick with a sore throat/cold/nausea, and on top of that I had to chaperone the senior class grad night trip down to Magic Mountain in SoCal on Thursday/Friday.

Anyway... it's Memorial Day, and the weather's pretty miserable (for California), so today's look is turbulent and dark, but with a little bright pop (because there is a bit of sunshine right now). It represents my week of being miserable, with the one bright spot being that the trip went well and it's a holiday weekend :)

- UDPP Eden
- Concrete Minerals in Storm all over the lid
- Concrete Minerals in Seance in the crease
- UD eye pencil in Perversion along the upper lash line
- UD eye pencil in Electric along the lower lash line
- Bare Escentuals Buxom Lash mascara in Blackest Black

- UD Pocket Rocket lip gloss in Jesse

- BeneFit Some Kind-a Gorgeous in Medium
- NYX Rouge Cream Blush in Natural

(I don't look bad for someone who's been sick a full week, do I? Nevermind, don't answer that.)

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Just an update

I've been largely absent this past week, especially beauty-wise, because I've been really sick - sore throat, stuffy nose, headaches, nausea, all of that. Which makes me not feel so motivated to take photos of myself :) But I'm on the mend!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Current obsession

I've been into SFA since college (Rings Around the World is still one of my favorite albums), but I didn't REALLY start exploring their discography more until this past month or so with Jimmy.

And they really are quite amazing. And it's really hard to describe them, which I think is a good indicator for anything creative - if you can sum it up in five words or less, then there must not be a whole lot of substance to begin with. SFA are a Welsh band, and being Welsh figures into a lot of their music - in fact, they have a lot of songs sung in Welsh. Correct me if I've got this wrong, but from what I understand, the Welsh are kind of like the underdog of Britain, compared to the superpower that is England. A lot of SFA's lyrical themes deal with resisting an oppressive power and rising up against The Man. But not in an angsty Muse sort of way - SFA's lyrics are poetical and intellectual.

Their musical style is even harder to sum up, because they are so versatile. They are the perfect blend of pop-catchiness and intelligent art. Most bands/acts can't get this right - they're either all pop and no substance (like Lady Gaga), or they're extremely arty and can sometimes be difficult to listen to, or are just too serious or too heavy all the time (and I would file Radiohead under this category). SFA is wonderfully catchy, AND they are quite arty. They incorporate bloops and bleeps like any other band, but they're wonderful musicians when it comes to their instruments. You really get the sense that they craft their songs, and I really appreciate that. You could go ahead and call them rock, but their discography has some electronica, some psychedelia, some cha cha, some funk, and even some good ol' fashioned Britpop. Like I said, you can't just sum them up with a few generic words. They really are just an amazing band.

To quote one of my favorite childhood tv shows, Reading Rainbow, "But don't take MY word for it!"

Some of my favorite SFA songs, in no particular order or ranking. Just listen; you don't have to watch. They're mostly live performances anyway, which is fine because they're an awesome live band.

And if that doesn't make SFA super and loveable enough, lead singer Gruff Rhys has some solo work of his own, and embarked on his own musical journey through Argentina looking for his "long-lost pancho-wearing, guitar-playing, Patagonian uncle," chronicled in a documentary called Separado!. Um, PLEASE watch the trailer below, and THEN tell me that he isn't the coolest man alive, because he TOTALLY IS.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

More natural today

- UDPP Original
- UD e/s in Mushroom all over the lid
- UD e/s in Verve as a highlight
- UD e/s in Romp in the crease
- Stila Stay All Day eyeliner pen in black along upper lash line
- NYX Doll Eye mascara

Also wearing: Milani Baked Bronzer in Soleil as a blush

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Purple love

I've done a purpley/yellowy look before, but not with these particular shadows. I particularly love the blue shadow in the crease.

- UDPP in Greed
- Fyrinnae's Polar Bear on inside half of lid
- MAC's Parfait Amour all over lid except innermost corner; apply more heavily to outer half
- UD's Adore (deluxe shadow) in the crease
- UD eye pencil in Perversion along upper lash line
- UD eye pencils in Ransom, topped with Binge, along lower lash line
- Bare Escentuals Buxom Lash mascara

My latest Painted Ladies blog is posted!

Review: Urban Decay Lip Love

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

An Ode to Dragonfly

This color is magic. I'd always wanted to try Dragonfly, and once it was finally restocked, I JUMPED on it, having heard so many great things. And I was NOT disappointed.

In the jar, so innocuous. A reddish brown. 

But on the eyes?

On top of the NYX Taupe I was wearing today, it's a beautiful brown shimmer with a metallic touch. Simply gorgeous. The iridescent duochrome finish DOES look exactly like the skin of a dragonfly's wings.

On top of dark colors? (In this case, UD's Barracuda and Black Dog eyeshadows from the Black Palette.) SO amazing! It's like it becomes a different color.

I know of one other color that looks like this - Urban Decay's Lounge. But Lounge is much redder than Dragonfly, and doesn't have as much iridescence:

There is actually another color, but it is almost a dupe for Lounge - it is one of the Definer colors from Wet 'n' Wild's Comfort Zone 8-Color palette.

Dragonfly is a lovely, lovely color, and I absolutely recommend snapping one up (especially since Sweet Libertine often has generous impromptu sales!) It's a wonderful, special color to have in your collection.

Ah, NYX...

Perhaps the less said about this weekend's NYX fiasco, the better. I don't think I will stop buying their products, but I pretty much will never buy directly from them, I think - I will probably always only buy NYX through Ulta or cherryculture.com. NYX customer service seems to have their heads stuck someplace unpleasant.

That said, here is today's look using NYX's Nude/Taupe/Dark Brown trio. I got this as part of cherryculture's 50% NYX sale (which DID NOT CRASH THE SITE and lasted A FEW DAYS!). I'm not sure why, given the excellence of their eyeshadow pigmentation and range of colors, that I was drawn to such a basic neutral trio. I guess I just wanted some staples :)

- UDPP Original
- Taupe all over the lid and along lower lash line
- Dark Brown in the crease
- Nude as a highlight
- UD eye pencil in Whiskey along upper and lower lash line
- NYX Doll Eye mascara

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Senior Ball 2011

I can't NOT post the details of my prom look, right? :) Bear in mind that I was chaperoning - I'm not a student myself.

It was all hands on deck for this one:
- UDPP Original
- MAC Shadestick in Lemon Chiffon all over the lid
- UD shadow pencil in Wasteland in the crease (blended really well - no harsh lines)
- I think I patted a little UD e/s in Midnight Cowgirl on top of the Lemon Chiffon
- Stila Stay All Day Waterproof eyeliner pen in black along the upper lash line, flicked slightly at the ends
- UD eye pencils in Uzi and Zero along the lower lash line
- Bare Escentuals Buxom Lash Mascara on the upper lashes (and I spent a lot of time separating my lashes with my Japonesque Precision Lash Definer eyelash comb)
- Clinique Bottom Lash Mascara on the bottom lashes (of course!)

- UD lip pencil in Gash
- MAC lipstick in Dare You (I kind of love this lipstick equally for its name as for its color)

- MAC Prep+Prime Skin
- MAC Studio Sculpt Foundation in NC40
- MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Medium Plus
- UD Afterglow cheek tints in Greedy on the cheeks
- UD Urbanglow cream highlight in Moonshine just above cheekbones
- Milani Baked Bronzer in Soleil under cheekbones and dusted lightly on forehead, temples, chin, etc.
- MAC Prep+Prime Transparent Finishing Powder
- MAC Fix+ Spray with Lavender misted all over the face

And while we're at it, I'm wearing Sally Hansen HD Nail Polish in Blu on my fingers (though you can't see them).

And my hair was curled and I'm wearing a headband, for a slightly retro feel. Many thanks to my friend Lisa for patiently curling my stubborn hair :)

Here's the closeup of my test eye again, since Blogger ate the original post that had it. I only made a couple of slight changes.

Friday, May 13, 2011

More pink!

- UDPP Original
- L'Oreal HIP Cream Paints in Secretive all over the lid
- Sugarpill Chromalust in Birthday Girl applied wet to the outer half of the lid
- Sugarpill Chromalust in Stella in the crease
- UD eye pencil in Zero along upper lash line
- UD eye pencil in Uzi along the lower lash line, outer 2/3
- NYX Doll Eye mascara

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Thursday Grays (and Prom Possible #3)

I realized after I finished how dressy this looks, so it's also Prom Test Look #3.

This was also my first-ever use of UD's Loose Pigments, which I've had FOREVER just sitting in my drawer.

- UDPP Original

- UD Loose Pigment in Yeyo all over the lid

- UD e/s in S&M in the crease, blended well

- UD e/s in Gunmetal on the outer half of the lid

- UD eye pencil in Gunmetal along the lower lash line

- UD e/s in Perversion on top of Gunmetal eye pencil, and smudged along the upper lash line (blend inward with a pencil brush)

- UD Supercurl mascara

- Maybelline Dream Mousse blush in Peach Satin

- MAC Cremesheen Glass in Partial to Pink

Prom Test Look #2

Please excuse how red my eyes are. I've been putting on and removing makeup for, like, HOURS, and they're irritated with me.

This one NEEDS to be in this order:

- UDPP Original

- MAC Greasepaint Stick in Black on the outer half of lid (blend the edges)

- UD eye pencil in Zero along the lower lash line

- Sugarpill Chromalust in Lumi all over lid (on top of Black too) and on top of Zero - it's a duochrome so wherever there's black, it shows up green! Otherwise, it's white.

- Sugarpill Chromalust in Royal Sugar in the crease. BLEND WELL. Use Lumi to soften the line if necessary

- UD eye pencil in Zero (again) along upper lash line

- Bare Escentuals Buxom Lash mascara in Blackest Black

Would wear this with: I'm thinking peachy/gold for a blush, and for lips, either NYX Megashine Gloss in Crystal Soda, UD Lip Junkie gloss in Midnight Cowboy (or their lipstick in the same shade), or MAC Viva Glam V.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Prom test look #1

I like this one because it's all pencils, which means it's easily portable. I think I used only one brush.

- UDPP Original

- MAC Shadestick in Lemon Chiffon all over lid, and blend out the line

- UD shadow pencil in Wasteland in the crease

- UD eye pencil in Stray Dog along the lower lash line

- UD eye pencil in Midnight Cowboy along the lower waterline

- Stila Stay All Day Waterproof eyeliner pen along upper lash line, and flicked at the corner

- UD Supercurl mascara

- (Plan to wear) False lashes

Would probably wear this with: a red lipstick - maybe MAC Russian Red on top of Cherry pencil? And a neutral/bronzey blush (as opposed to pink or plum)

Wednesday Simplicity

- UDPP in Sin all over the eye area
- UD eye pencil in Oil Slick along upper lash line
- UD eye pencil in Underground along lower lash line
- UD Supercurl mascara

- UD Pocket Rocket lipgloss in Jesse

- MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural in Medium Plus
- Milani Baked Bronzer in Soleil (as a blush)

Note: This look was made possible by the fact that I sharpened my eye pencils last night, which gave me a better line.

My latest Painted Ladies blog is up!

TouchBack Brow Marker Makes Eyebrows Easy!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Tuesday pinks!

- UDPP Original
- MAC Satin Taupe on inner half of lid and lower lash line
- MAC Sushi Flower on outer half of lid
- MAC Sketch in the crease
- MAC Vanilla as a highlight
- UD eye pencil in Rockstar along upper and lower lash line
- UD Supercurl mascara

- UD Lip Love in Stung (review forthcoming!)

- UD Urban Defense Tinted Moisturizer in Bodyguard
- UD Afterglow Cheek Tints in Greedy

Monday, May 9, 2011

Monday blues

Sing it with me! "Hanging around... nothing to do but frown..."

- UDPP Original
- UD e/s in Verve all over the eye area (and blend the line with a clean brush)
- UD e/s in Jinx in the crease, blended
- UD e/s in Loaded blended in a thinner line in the crease
- UD e/s in Haight along the lower lash line
- Palladio Herbal Precision Eyeliner in Black Onyx along the upper lash line and lower waterline
- Bare Escentuals Buxom Lash mascara in Blackest Black

Sunday, May 8, 2011

30 Things Before I'm 30 - updated

Call it cheating if you want to - I decided to go through my list and re-evaluate some of the goals I'd chosen. It's been 5 months since I initially made the list, and I think that some of the goals have become irrelevant to me, while new goals have popped up and gained importance (and therefore, deserve to be on the list). And some of the goals are just darn unrealistic, and I don't want to set myself up to fail. So, I've changed a few and replaced a few:

1. Edit and submit my Austen thesis for publication in JASNA's journal
2. Have another baby (or at least be en route to having it)
3. Pass the WFTDA minimum skills test
4. Compete in SOME official derby competition (scrimmage, bout, Red Red Holiday, etc)
5. Knit socks
6. Learn steeking - Started!
7. Watch at least 5 Hitchcock movies that I haven't already seen
8. Read Austen's works that I haven't already read: Emma, Mansfield Park, and Sense and Sensibility
9. Attend Rollercon in Las Vegas - Registered! Hotel booked! Flights booked! 7/27/11-7/31/11
10. Attend a Giants game in another stadium (other than Oakland), preferably out of state
11. Go on a wine-tasting trip to learn how to appreciate wine
12. Take a photography class and actually have the skills to justify owning a DSLR
13. Knit or crochet a toy for Jolie
14. Attend the Dickens Fair
15. Get a Jolie-inspired tattoo
16. Find a beer that I actually like
17. Read at least 5 Shakespeare plays that I haven't already read
18. Knit a lace shawl - Started!
19. Bake a cake from scratch
20. Learn how to make really good guacamole - Completed 2/20/11
21. Run a full mile in 10 minutes or less
22. Run a 5k - Registered! 6/5/11
23. Run a 10k - Registered! 7/10/11
24. (Mostly) Run a half-marathon
25. Complete a full marathon (not necessarily running) - Registered! 10/16/11
26. Get a tattoo to commemorate completing a marathon
27. Run an away race, preferably out of state - Registered! 5/20/12
28. Participate in the Rock 'n' Roll Marathon's Heavy Medal Series (run 2 or more RNR races in a calendar year) - Registered for 1 (5/20/12)
29. Knit a sweater for my dad
30. Watch at least 5 Kurosawa movies that I haven't already seen

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Race recap: Mermaid Run 5k

This morning I did my first 5k in YEARS with Jimmy's sister Laura - it's the Mermaid Run series (which includes a 5k, 10k, half-marathon, and an 18-miler). This one, the East Bay race, took place at Quarry Lakes Park in Fremont. Laura suckered me into this one :) because she'd heard that they had a really cool participants' shirt and finisher necklace (and they do!) and it worked out really well for my training schedule, because I would've been running about this much mileage anyway. This was Laura's first race.

I didn't keep interval or anything this time - I just ran when I felt like it and walked when I didn't feel like running. My calves were a little tight, but otherwise, I didn't feel any pain. I have no idea what my official time is yet, because there was no actual physical line where the start line was. Also, they were using the gun time as EVERYONE'S start time and just using the timing chip to determine finish time, and since there was no physical start line, I'm not sure how long it was until I actually officially, you know, started. So eventually I just started my watch. As soon as I know the official race results, I'll post 'em. So what is officially recorded on my Garmin is 3.02 miles in 42:20, which is apparently exactly 14:00 per mile, which is about what I've been doing on my training runs anyway. So, though of COURSE I wish I'd finished faster, what's more important is that I was pretty consistent. *ETA* Official time: 43:39, for a pace of 14:04. And remember that that IS gun time, and I started further back.

The weather was overcast, mostly gray but with little patches of sunlight coming out here and there - I had my jacket on to start the race, since the wind made it pretty chilly, but it was off and hanging from my hydration belt before long. The course was an out-and-back on a gravelly dirt trail, which was nice - I've been having major shin splints lately when I do my Saturday long runs, which I think is a combination of the fact that I do my weekday runs on a treadmill and my Sat runs on concrete and the way I lace my shoes (which I remedied). I also picked up a compression sleeve for my calf, which ended up REALLY helping a lot. What I am happiest about is that I had a very comfortable run.

The last tenth of the mile was on a paved path, so I felt more comfortable going a bit faster (since I didn't have to worry about holes and rocks), so I'm zooming along the last stretch until I get to the finish chute which is on VERY VERY plush grass!!!!! Like, I could feel my feet sinking into the ground as I was going the last ten yards across the electronic timing pads!!! They really do know how to make us work, don't they?

And of course, what was there to greet me at the end but my finishers' necklace... :)

Laura and me. I've got bling!
It was a really lovely race - other than the start line business, I think it was well-organized and well-run, and I like that it was "small." (I've only been doing the NWM for the last few years, so I'm so used to 20,000 people!) I'm trying to do a lot more races this year (got another 5k coming up in June), so I'm glad I did this one - I felt great, didn't feel any pressure, and I had a good time :)

Both sides of the finishers' necklace
Number and official shirt

Sally Hansen Salon Effects

You know, I wasn't thrilled about how my nails didn't last much longer than regular nail polish did, even with an anti-chip topcoat, but maybe it's just me. I'm pretty rough and careless with my hands.

I re-did them, this time with Check It Out:

You know, I thought the houndstooth would look kind of sophisticated, but I think I just look 80's :)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Purple Haze

More purple :)

I can understand the appeal of the name "Purple Haze" - it describes a color, and it's the name of an awesome song, so it has all these rock 'n' roll connotations to it. Urban Decay has TWO shadows called Purple Haze, and they're both totally different!

I like that this eye look really brings out the brown in my eyes.

- UDPP Original on the eyelid; Fyrinnae's Pixie Epoxy along the lower lash line
- UD matte Purple Haze all over the eyelid
- UD regular (shimmer) Purple Haze blended well into the crease and along the lower lash line (on top of Pixie Epoxy)
- UD matte Illegal to blend the crease
- UD matte Perversion to darken the crease
- UD eye pencil in Zero along upper lash line and lower water line
- UD Supercurl mascara

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Purple Layers

More purple today... well, it's not ALL purple, but it all goes together. I applied my colors in layers and stripes across my eye (and blended really well). And I totally FORGOT to put on mascara!!!

- UDPP Original
- Concrete Minerals Lolita across the lid and lower lash line
- Sugarpill Hysteric in the crease from outer corner to inner corner
- UD matte in Illegal to blend the crease line
- A touch of UD matte in ABC Gum just on the browbone (very lightly)
- Lola Cosmetics Fine Line eye pencil in black across the upper lash line
- UD eye pencil in Zero along the lower lash line (smudged into Lolita)

Monday, May 2, 2011


I apologize for the yellowness of the photos... if I get a chance, I'll re-do them. I really am wearing purples.

- UDPP Original
- Sweet Libertine Movin' Out all over the lid
- Sweet Libertine Copper Penny in the crease
- Sweet Libertine Striptease as a highlight
- Sweet Libertine Storybook Romance along the lower lash line.
- UD eye pencil in Corrupt along the upper lash line, and smudged a tiny bit into the outer corner of the lower waterline
- UD Supercurl mascara

(Was able to adjust colors on this one)
- UD Urban Defense Tinted Moisturizer in Bodyguard
- UD Urbanglow Cream Highlight in Moonshine above the cheekbone

- UD Pocket Rocket lipgloss in Jesse

Sunday, May 1, 2011

One must remember...

... that O'Brien was actually working for Big Brother the whole time.

Who gets to be the new Emmanuel Goldstein now?

For those about to rock....

Registration for the FIRST EVER Portland Rock 'n' Roll Half Marathon opened today, and of course I registered! I've heard lots of good things about the RNR races, and how could I not want to do the first-ever RNR in a city that is near and dear to my heart?