Sunday, April 29, 2012

Bout day makeup

Because I'm sure EVERYONE'S dying to know...

- I had "normal" olive green eye makeup on my right eye - I don't remember the name of the shade on the lid, but it's Urban Decay, and it was originally in a Book of Shadows (because the pan was square). It was all over the lid as well as along the lower lash line
- UD Libertine in the crease/contour
- Sugarpill Absinthe patted just in the center of the lid
- UD eye pencil in Perversion along the upper lash line
- MUFE Smoky Lash mascara

But no one cares about that eye. The other one:

- Sugarpill Love+ all over the lid and all around the eye
- Same eye liner and mascara as above
- For the bleeding effect - I mixed a 2-3 drops of mixing medium (I can't remember the name of the brand I have, I bought it on Etsy, but you can use Visine) with Morgana Cryptoria's Evil Eye Candy eye shadow so it was a watery consistency, NOT paste! And tried to make it look like it was streaking down my face. It stayed on really well, considering all the sweating. I don't believe I used any setting spray.

And I topped the whole thing off with Morgana Cryptoria's Charleston lipstick (from their 1920's collection, which I love). Which also stayed on REALLY well with all the yelling and drinking water and mouthguard removing.

Saturday, April 28, 2012


Credit: Photography by D.E.sign

The final score wasn't actually close - like 151-88. Yes, we grabbed the lead first and never looked back, and ended up winning by a wide margin.

But that doesn't tell the whole story. It doesn't tell you how we played with only 10 girls to their 16, and three of our girls were battling injuries throughout the night. It doesn't tell you how we were down to two experienced jammers going into this bout, and one brave soul (our bout MVP, Aggrodite) stepped up totally brand new and ROCKED it. It doesn't tell you how many of us were going in for two (three, four, in my case) jams in a row to cover the shortage of people. We were playing hurt. We were playing tired. We had to take a timeout just to rest. What the score doesn't tell you was that we totally went into this the underdogs.

But what it does tell you, is that sometimes the underdog can win.

I'm not going to lie, I wasn't sure if this would happen. I figured it was anybody's game, and if we DID win, it would come down to the wire and it would take me to within an inch of my life. Like I said in my previous post, I've been so tense for the past week that I haven't been able to look anyone in the eye.

In fact, we've all been feeling that way. Our Facebook group discussion for the last three days has been full of "Oh god, I'm trying not to puke" and "IT'S GONNA BE OKAY!!" and lots of nervous reassurances that we weren't going to positively DIE out there. I mean, we've got strong skaters, but so do the Damas, and they've got more people, period. There's a LOT to be said about having a strong reserve so that everyone gets enough rest. And that? was what we DIDN'T have. We have 17 girls officially on our roster, but four are out on injury and three had other commitments that couldn't be canceled. And of our 10 remaining girls, two were still recovering from injuries and one was experiencing pain during the bout itself.

Emotions were running high before the start. Our locker room was full of shaking hands and grim looks. Carl gave us a great pep talk (followed later by a giraffe joke), and because it's our league's first home bout, we were confused about the goings-on in general. Yeah, LOTS of grim "I dunno about this!" looks going on.

But then we started, and we were on our way. I was in the first two jams, and eventually found myself at times doing three and even four in a row. It's exhausting enough to play every other jam, so by the end of the first half, my legs were shaking, I was gasping for air, and I was having a hard time even just getting past their blockers to rejoin my own. I could barely pick myself up off the ground at certain points.

But we were rocking it, and we could feel it. We work together REALLY well. Our strength is in our teamwork. We were holding back their jammer quite a bit and playing smart. We knew our strategy well, and we stuck together. We were really a TEAM.

We had a 40 or 50 point lead going into the second half, but we dared not let up. In derby, it's entirely possible to come back from that, especially when the team in the lead is short-handed and feeling exhausted and beat up, and the team that is trailing is still fresh and smiling. Like I said, the score doesn't tell you the whole story. We had more of us needing time off when we could barely spare anyone in the first place, more of us feeling pain. I hurt my knee sometime in the last few jams. (Yeah, it's going to bruise. I can see it.)

But you know what? I'm not complaining. Because 1) I got LOTS of playing time, and I feel very happy about my own personal performance and contributions, and 2) that victory lap was damn sweet :) I'm really glad that most of my family and some of my really good friends were there to see it.

I'm so happy I could cry. I'm proud to be a Psychopathogen.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Bout day

It's hard to believe, but I've only officially bouted once. I say that because I feel like I've got a fair amount of interleague scrimmaging under my belt, and those always feel like bouts anyway, especially the last one we had against Sac City at the beginning of the month.

Tomorrow (or, today, technically) is only my second bout. And it's not like the last one - this is a home team bout. I'm on team Psychopathogens, and today, we face off against the Damas de los Muertos. These are girls that, on a normal day, I laugh with, get coffee with, banter with on Facebook, etc. But today? It's going to be like the Giants vs. the Dodgers all up in here.

It's already started - this week, I've been wearing my game face around like my favorite hat. Maybe it makes me come off as mean or "drama queen," but I need the intensity. I need the fire. I need to have a reason not to hold back when I'm out there on the track. I'm switching into "out for blood" mode, and it's this level of existence that I will maintain until the final whistle.

But other than that, I'm nervous. Of course I am. I'm nervous about the fact that our team has only 10 skaters who will be there (which includes myself). I'm nervous about the fact that I will be TIRED because I won't get as many breaks as I'm used to. I'm nervous about playing in front of my family and friends, nervous about doing something stupid, nervous about being completely useless when it really counts.

I'm nervous that the voices in my head that tell me that I'm not really actually that good and that I have no business playing roller derby will be proven right.

But it'll pass. When the first whistle blows, there won't be any time to be nervous anymore. It's getting to that first whistle that will be grueling. The anticipation.

I don't know how I will get to sleep tonight - I'm really keyed up, and my muscles haven't unclenched in about three days. Every time I get a free moment in my head, my thoughts turn immediately to scenarios on the track, and I tense up. I am very, very ready to get this over with.

Wish me luck. I'll post a recap after it's all over.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Okay, so...

For all two of you who follow my blog for its makeup/beauty content, you won't be hearing much on that front for a while. I got really sick this weekend, some sort of stomach virus, and threw up so hard that I burst quite a few blood vessels in my face, including in my eye.

I look like Jake Morgendorffer from this episode of Daria called "The Teachings of Don Jake," except even splotchier and redder.

So, yeah... that's a NO on the makeup photos for a while... :/

Friday, April 13, 2012

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Random complaints on this day

Random angry face I found online

I just reintroduced chocolate (non-dairy, non-soy, non-gluten), and it's making me feel ill.

Someone call me when the Giants are ready to stop ****ing around and want to get serious about baseball. I've been watching them follow the same pattern since 2005:
- sign players past their prime or other teams' castoffs, and hope for a fluke (which is what the 2010 World Series was, make no mistake)
- bring up younger players and then send them back down when they don't deliver RIGHTNOW, RIGHTAWAY
- lose stupidly close games because we can't manufacture runs in clutch situations but every once in a while have a blowout when we really didn't need to, thereby skewing our rotation's win-loss records
- discuss, wonder, speculate: What's wrong with Barry Zito?, and come up with any possible explanation except the one that makes the most sense: Maybe he just isn't that good anymore!!
- play guys who aren't producing instead of guys who COULD produce just because the opposing pitcher that day is right-handed or left-handed.

I just stepped in dog poo. On my carpet. Bare-footed. Goddammit.

I really, really, really HATE WALMART:

I burnt (well, severely charred) my overpriced Whole Foods pork chops today.

... I think I need a drink. You know, if I were the sort to drink, which I'm not. Such as it is, I'm going to have another paleo cookie. BECAUSE I DESERVE IT.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Purple lips: Revlon's Super Lustrous lipstick in Berry Haute and Violet Frenzy

I've been obsessed with purple lipstick lately, and I don't know why. Purple's a favorite color of mine anyway, and recently, I've just been on the hunt for some purple lipcolor.

It started when I noticed Revlon's Liquid Lipstick in Vigorous Violet. But reviews online weren't exactly favorable - apparently it look like it does in the tube when you apply it. This only spurred my obsession, and I turned to regular (not liquid) lipstick to see what I could find.

MAC has a TON. (I ended up locating a brand-new Seasoned Plum, and it's on the way.) But some of them were a little TOO purple - I wanted something wearable. OCC just released a FABULOUS lip tar called Belladonna, but that too was just out of my comfort zone. Plus, I didn't want to spend that much on MAC or OCC in case I hated it.

There WAS a viable MAC lipstick, Up the Amp, that looked promising. But lo and behold, thank god for beauty bloggers! someone found a pretty good drugstore dupe in Revlon's Super Lustrous lipstick in Berry Haute. I googled it, and found a variety of gorgeous girls looking gorgeous in this purpley-berry shade, and I knew it was for me.

While I was there, I noticed a "new shade" called Violet Frenzy, and lucky for me, there's a BOGO50% sale on Revlon at Walgreen's. Success!! Now I own two purple lipsticks. (Do I need two? Probably not. But both are awesome.)

The lighting in my bathroom does not do these lipsticks justice, particularly Violet Frenzy. It's a not-too-bright, slightly-darker fuschia - there's definitely a blue sheen to it. But it goes on a little sheer, so it's much less scary on my lips than it is in the tube. (Seriously - it looks harmless above, but when I first cracked that baby open, I was like, "This might be a little gothy on me.")

And Berry Haute is just a great must-have shade. It's definitely a berry, with a little more purple than red. It's got a cream finish, and is a little more opaque than Violet Frenzy.

Both look great on - not too dark, definitely purple, but not TOO purple. I don't know how long they last, but they both feel comfortable and light on my lips. I am DEFINITELY going to rock this look.

Berry Haute

Violet Frenzy

Whatever happened to "live and let live"?

A couple things have been drawing my ire lately.

Now, I am a self-admitted devotee of both of these topics (Ryan Gosling and the Paleo Diet), but I would never get on anyone's case for not being one. So when I read both of these, I really felt like the writers/commenters were getting on MY case.

I believe that people should like whatever they want to like and eat whatever they want to eat. You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours.

I understand that both of these things were supposed to be kinda funny, ranty, "anti-" pieces, and I'm no stranger to those, because I've written a few in my day. But those were a while ago, and my life philosophy has changed a lot since then - I feel that I was in the wrong then, and I feel like the individuals who wrote/compiled these two pieces are in the wrong as well - not for what they believe, but for the hypocrisy of their complaints about others being judgmental:

* In the Facebook comments to the Ryan Gosling article, a Bitch Magazine rep says, "I thought it might be interesting to hear from women don't feel that way, and who in fact get a lot of pushback from their friends just for not finding him attractive."

* In the Jezebel article,  the author states, "I mean specifically the ones who are jerks, not the ones who are not jerks!"

But for all the complaints (as much from the commenters on both threads as the writers themselves), they are being EXTREMELY judgey.

The Jezebel article tries to disclaim that they are talking only about "jerks," but the article doesn't go on to criticize just the jerks, it attacks everyone who follows this way of life. If the writer was really so annoyed by people being judgmental, then attack the issue of being judgmental and leave it at that; it should've been an article of "We should all just eat what we want to eat." Instead, she felt the need to go on and on about how we're ALL wrong and we're ALL stupid - essentially doing the very thing that she's accusing us of doing. (And there are a lot of assumptions/inaccurate premises in her article besides.)
Look, I try really hard to keep my Paleo conversation to just other fellow Paleo people and anyone who actually asks me about it, and if other people don't care to read my posts, they're welcome to hit "unsubscribe." If someone tells me that they aren't interested, then I leave it at that. If I post that I'm happy about losing weight, and people want to know how I did it, then I'll tell them, and I'll leave the door open for further questions, but I don't proselytize. If you tell me that you are interested in trying it, I will only help you as long as you actually want to do it - if you start whining about the food you miss, I will tell you, "Look, if you don't want to do it, then don't." I've been saying all along that following Paleo requires a certain frame of mind, and if you're not ready or willing, then it won't go well.

I don't appreciate the anger and the nastiness in the article and the comments. I don't know what kind of friends these people have, but if you have a bunch of judgey a-holes in your life, that's really unfortunate for you. I'm sorry. But it's not my problem. And it's not who I am, anyway. Maybe all of those angry people need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with all the judgey people in their lives, and keep their vitriol out of my life. (I did, finally, decide to click "unfollow" on Jezebel's FB page. It was the last straw.)

The Ryan Gosling one annoyed me because the quotes there were just petty and mean. Again, I'm sorry that apparently, a lot of women who don't like Ryan Gosling have a bunch of a-hole friends who try to make them feel bad about it, but seriously? Was this necessary? Your hatred of someone who essentially has nothing to do with you was so strong that you needed to band together in solidarity? Solidarity in hatred?

Some people don't understand the appeal of Ryan Gosling. That's fine. But honestly, it doesn't matter if you don't understand it - just move along. The comments on that site nitpick at his looks and his voice (the "lisping voice" comment was borderline anti-gay) in a really uncomfortable way. It's mean to bash on someone because of their looks, and the fact that Bitch Magazine, which is a feminist magazine, chose to share something like this is hugely hypocritical. If they caught wind of a similar page or article saying similar things about women, they'd be like, "This is wrong!" But apparently it's okay if it's a guy? I call that a double standard. 

There are lots of things that I don't understand or don't care for (organized religion, Oprah Winfrey, huge fuzzy Ugg boots), but unless I feel like there is some injustice being done (as I am feeling right now), I'm not going to waste my time on it. And I'm certainly not going to attack people who disagree with me and judge them for it.

SERIOUSLY. Love what you want. Eat what you want. Stay out of my body. Live and let live.

Sunday, April 1, 2012