Thursday, April 5, 2012

Whatever happened to "live and let live"?



A couple things have been drawing my ire lately.


Now, I am a self-admitted devotee of both of these topics (Ryan Gosling and the Paleo Diet), but I would never get on anyone's case for not being one. So when I read both of these, I really felt like the writers/commenters were getting on MY case.

I believe that people should like whatever they want to like and eat whatever they want to eat. You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours.

I understand that both of these things were supposed to be kinda funny, ranty, "anti-" pieces, and I'm no stranger to those, because I've written a few in my day. But those were a while ago, and my life philosophy has changed a lot since then - I feel that I was in the wrong then, and I feel like the individuals who wrote/compiled these two pieces are in the wrong as well - not for what they believe, but for the hypocrisy of their complaints about others being judgmental:

* In the Facebook comments to the Ryan Gosling article, a Bitch Magazine rep says, "I thought it might be interesting to hear from women don't feel that way, and who in fact get a lot of pushback from their friends just for not finding him attractive."

* In the Jezebel article,  the author states, "I mean specifically the ones who are jerks, not the ones who are not jerks!"



But for all the complaints (as much from the commenters on both threads as the writers themselves), they are being EXTREMELY judgey.

The Jezebel article tries to disclaim that they are talking only about "jerks," but the article doesn't go on to criticize just the jerks, it attacks everyone who follows this way of life. If the writer was really so annoyed by people being judgmental, then attack the issue of being judgmental and leave it at that; it should've been an article of "We should all just eat what we want to eat." Instead, she felt the need to go on and on about how we're ALL wrong and we're ALL stupid - essentially doing the very thing that she's accusing us of doing. (And there are a lot of assumptions/inaccurate premises in her article besides.)
Look, I try really hard to keep my Paleo conversation to just other fellow Paleo people and anyone who actually asks me about it, and if other people don't care to read my posts, they're welcome to hit "unsubscribe." If someone tells me that they aren't interested, then I leave it at that. If I post that I'm happy about losing weight, and people want to know how I did it, then I'll tell them, and I'll leave the door open for further questions, but I don't proselytize. If you tell me that you are interested in trying it, I will only help you as long as you actually want to do it - if you start whining about the food you miss, I will tell you, "Look, if you don't want to do it, then don't." I've been saying all along that following Paleo requires a certain frame of mind, and if you're not ready or willing, then it won't go well.

I don't appreciate the anger and the nastiness in the article and the comments. I don't know what kind of friends these people have, but if you have a bunch of judgey a-holes in your life, that's really unfortunate for you. I'm sorry. But it's not my problem. And it's not who I am, anyway. Maybe all of those angry people need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with all the judgey people in their lives, and keep their vitriol out of my life. (I did, finally, decide to click "unfollow" on Jezebel's FB page. It was the last straw.)

The Ryan Gosling one annoyed me because the quotes there were just petty and mean. Again, I'm sorry that apparently, a lot of women who don't like Ryan Gosling have a bunch of a-hole friends who try to make them feel bad about it, but seriously? Was this necessary? Your hatred of someone who essentially has nothing to do with you was so strong that you needed to band together in solidarity? Solidarity in hatred?

Some people don't understand the appeal of Ryan Gosling. That's fine. But honestly, it doesn't matter if you don't understand it - just move along. The comments on that site nitpick at his looks and his voice (the "lisping voice" comment was borderline anti-gay) in a really uncomfortable way. It's mean to bash on someone because of their looks, and the fact that Bitch Magazine, which is a feminist magazine, chose to share something like this is hugely hypocritical. If they caught wind of a similar page or article saying similar things about women, they'd be like, "This is wrong!" But apparently it's okay if it's a guy? I call that a double standard. 

There are lots of things that I don't understand or don't care for (organized religion, Oprah Winfrey, huge fuzzy Ugg boots), but unless I feel like there is some injustice being done (as I am feeling right now), I'm not going to waste my time on it. And I'm certainly not going to attack people who disagree with me and judge them for it.

SERIOUSLY. Love what you want. Eat what you want. Stay out of my body. Live and let live.


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