Thursday, May 10, 2012

So long! Farewell! Auf wieder... nevermind, I can't spell that word.

Dear Gallbladder,


It's been real.


- Me


So, tomorrow, I go in for gallbladder surgery. Remember how I got really sick a couple of weeks ago and threw up and got the scary eye? Yeah, apparently it was caused by gallstones and not a stomach virus. Well, at least I know I don't have the plague.

I'm a little anxious. I know it's a minor surgery, and it's laproscopic (REALLY can't spell today!), and it's apparently as common as getting an appendix out, but I've never had any surgery of any sort. I've never been put under general anesthesia. This is the first body part that I've ever part with (and no, babies and placentas don't count as body parts). I even have all my wisdom teeth.

I'm a little wary of the fact that they'll be cutting me and doing all this weird stuff (inflating my abdomen with gas???) while I'm unconscious and totally helpless to do anything about it. What if the government has commissioned them to put a microchip in me as well to track my whereabouts and to listen in on my conversations? What if they take samples of my DNA to sell to aliens? What if they turn me into a human incubator for smallpox? What if I ask them to do some abdominal liposuction, since they'll be in there anyway?

I'm sure it will be fine, but I can't help but worry.

I think my biggest worry has been not the surgery/recovery itself (because whatever will be, will be, right?), but the fact that I will be out a week from work afterwards. I've been going a little crazy lately trying to find subs and figure out lesson plans that the subs can teach but that also have some educational value, since a week is a long time to have them do seatwork. It's more work to miss work, than to go to work. I mean, seriously, I'm not complaining about getting a week off from work, but it's not like it's a vacation. In fact, I'm going to use this time to catch up on grading :/

And of course, slightly lower on my "worry" list (but not THAT much lower) are running and roller derby. I know, I know - those things sound ridiculous to worry about, but if you know me, you know that they're important to me. I'm about 95% sure that I will not be able to skate in the June 8th bout, and that's REALLY depressing me - I really felt like this last bout was the pinnacle of my derby career so far, in terms of my skills and my strategy and everything just coming together, FINALLY, after two and a half years of work, and I was looking forward to improving on that for the second bout. But instead, I feel like I'm going to actually be backsliding, because I have to spend at least two weeks off-skates, and then at least another two weeks non-contact. I feel like all the progress I've been making will be gone, and it'll be back to square one.

Running is less of a worry - the marathon I was going to train for got cancelled, and I was able to transfer my registration to a later marathon put on by the same company, so I have some extra time. Plus, I can at least walk as soon as one week after my surgery, and start running two weeks after.

Basically, I want this whole period to be over soon so I can get back to my normal ass-kicking and badassery.

That is all.

May the health gods be kind, and send me cute orderlies.

Thanks.

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