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Pause and reflect

I haven't written a blog post in almost a year. I've had a lot of stuff happen, some good and some bad, and I could've written about any of those things, but the truth was, I didn't really want to process it in public--I spent a lot of time writing in notebooks and talking to friends and family, and then once I had worked through how I was feeling, I didn't feel compelled to revisit it by writing a blog post for... does anyone actually read this thing? *shrugs*

However, 2020 has just started, and like everyone else and their mother, I've been thinking about the last ten years and how they've gone for me. I was 26 at the start of 2009, and now I've just turned 37, and I feel like almost all of the most important things that have contributed to who I am right now have happened within the last ten years:

- My first pregnancy, and Jolie's birth
- Majority of my teaching career
- Majority of my knitting (I started in 2006)
- Majority of my beauty blogging
- Starting my book blog
- The general resurgence of YA lit in my life
- Roller derby
- Progressing to running marathons and dozens of half-marathons
- My knee injury
- Powerlifting
- Moving to Oregon
- Two pregnancy losses
- The losses of Belle and Semos
- Lucy and Mochi joining our family
- My current pregnancy (YEP! Starting 2nd trimester next week!!!!!!!!!!)

I started 2009 pregnant, and I ended 2019 pregnant (and also Jolie turned 10 this year!) Almost all of my best friends are people I've met or reconnected with in the last ten years, too. It was an important decade for me, one I couldn't sum up in a diptych for Instagram. Is it because it was the last of my 20s and the beginning of my 30s? I would imagine that's a seminal period for anyone, and mine just happened to correlate with 2009-2019.

So yeah, I grew a lot this year. I went through some really difficult things and really had to learn how to put my mental and physical health first. (I'm still learning how to do this! Not quite there yet!) I accomplished a LOT of things, from running my first (and last) marathon, to breaking state powerlifting records.

I think I've had trouble looking back at this decade because there IS so much. What did I learn? A lot of things! What did I do? A lot of things! I wouldn't say this last decade was my entire life, but it was a big part of it, considering how I am old enough to be able to say that a decade is just a small part of the time I've been alive, numerically (just over 25%, I guess?).

Do decades ever stop being important? Will the next ten years of my life be as influential, as full? I guess that's up to me. I'm not as young as I used to be, and my body isn't as resilient, but I've still got spirit. I've still got drive.

And I've still got goals. Stay tuned, 2020.